Understanding
by Little Miss Delliham
Summary: What happened if Desperate Measures had ended differently? If SG1 hadn’t got there on time and there was no going back for Carter? m15 rating plus my formating is stuffed! 1198 hits and still only 1 reveiw!
1. The Beginning of the End

Summery:- What happened if Desperate Measures had ended differently? If SG1 hadn't got there on time and there was no going back for Carter?

Disclaimer: - Stargate and everything else, bar the whole plot of this story, doesn't belong to me and I'm not getting anything from this work

AN: - Brought on by Evanescence song _Understanding _I kind wrote this in like, not long, maybe three days. I thought damn, how come they can get over events so quickly without breaking down, they are people to. So here it is, Sam goes psycho-killer.

Oh, and the sequence is a bit weird but try to follow…

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.o. 

**Understanding. **

By Delliham

Chapter 1 – The Beginning of the End

.o.

.o.

_You hold the answers deep within your mind. Consciously, you've forgotten it._

_That's the way the human mind works. _

_Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us to entertain, _

_We reject it. We erase it from our memories._

_But the imprint is always there…_

.o.

"I didn't just kill you that day" She whispered….

o-.-o-.-o-.-o

The sound of his sneakers squeaking on the lino floor echoed eerily as he ran down the early morning-deserted corridors.

It would have been nice, if not for the desperate moment.

She had done it, again, only difference was, this time he hadn't been there to help her.

o-.-o-.-o-.-o

She lay down next to him, tears pouring from her crystal blue eyes.

"Please, don't go… Tell me your going to be alright…I love you"

His hand moved to grasp hers,

_Hold and speak to me_

_Of love without a sound_

_Tell me you will live through this_

_And I will die for you…_

Sam looked at Jack, he smiled back at her distraught face

"Its alright" He gasped, sharply inhaling.

Draped over his chest she felt his last breath,

.o.

Seconds too late, Daniel had found them both, covered in blood, Jack dead, Sam berley alive - although she had no physical wounds other than utter exhaustion. A 'shock induced coma' they had called it but he had know better, she was willing herself to death, trying to forget. And after what she had been through, he didn't blame her.

But still, he brought her round, helped her to live again, been there when she needed him.

o-.-o-.-o-.-o

"Time of death, 3.24am"

He stopped in the frame of the doorway, just in time to hear the announcement.

.o.

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TBC... 

ps, sorry 'bout the .o. things its the only way i could space it! try'n to fix that one!


	2. Death of Innocence

**Understanding** by Delliham

Chapter 2 – Death of Innocence

.o.

.o.

.o.

"There has to be something else I can do for her, I can't just leave her here like this!"

"Dr. Jackson I can assure you this is the best mental care unit this side of the world. Samantha will be fine here. We have a large number of staff trained and ready to take care of her every need!"

Daniel eyed the man suspiciously. He wasn't sure of this place but he could no longer care for Sam himself, she needed someone who could understand what was going on in her mind, he needed a break.

Her room was bleak, white washed and slightly padded on the lower walls. It brought back unfavourable memories for him in which he didn't want his friend to share.

"Well, at least let me bring in all her stuff for the room, she can't handle boring"

"As long as it doesn't pose to injure her" the man smiled.

She's had a tough life and sometimes talks to thin air but Sam is not a health risk, Daniel rolled his eyes.

Some people…

.o.

o-.-o-.-o-.-o

.o.

"Samantha Carter, you have been charged with two accounts of murder, and one account of man-slaughter. How do you plead?……Ms Carter, How do you plead?"

The courtroom sat in silence waiting for a response, one that was never going to come.

"You do understand that this a court of law and you are bound, by law, to answer the question?"

Still Sam sat, not saying a word, not even acknowledging the judges existence.

"Ms Carter" He had begun to loose his patience

"With all do respect your honour, I believe that Ms Samantha Carter is still unable to answer your question, and there fore, on behalf of her, plead insanity and ask this hearing be postponed" A smarty dressed woman stood up.

"Ms Taylor, I know your patient is very capable of talking and being spoken to, I have seen the video footage… was it not you who said, and I quote, 'In such a state mentally where she can recall her version of the events with full clarity'?"

"Yes you honour but I was referring to a one on one session. A group discussion or a public debate can be entirely different" Taylor smiled, one for her. The judge let out a deep breath,

"Alright. By order of the court, Samantha Carter is left in the custody of Daniel Jackson and is to receive full mental help until such time she is able to testify. Dismissed

Murmurs arose as the room cleared. Daniel stood up,

"And after all she has done for the planet, this is the best she gets…"

"Its all we can do for her son" George patted his back,

"Its out of our league, even for the president, two security guards and a military officer, it just doesn't look good"

"But it was all self defence! They were going to kill for Christ sake!" Daniel raised his voice

"Self defence doesn't count for multiple stab wounds" Ms Taylor butted in with a sorry smile. They all glanced at Sam, still sitting, still staring. Dan rubbed his face,

"I suppose"

.o.

o-.-o-.-o-.-o

.o.

"Oh, shit!" Jack exclaimed as he finally barged through the exit door.

Samantha sat, hospital gown washed scarlet, in a pool of blood.

The bodies of two men lay in awkward positions in a restless slumber. Their blood laced every thing from their own clothes to the not-so-squeaky-clean vinyl or the strangely shaded purple carpet to the now crimson locks of the woman's hair.

She sat in silence, not a movement nor sound did she make.

Jack approached with precaution.

"Carter, are you alright?"

The figure stayed as if set in stone. He crept forward, eyes never leaving her or the damage that had been done.

"Sam" He gently grasped her shoulder

The once bright blue eyes snapped back to reality.

A single flinch.

It was over before he new what had happened

With lightning fast reactions she pulled out a knife he had not noticed before and plunged it deeply into his stomach, hitting some of his major organs, with all the trained skill of and Air Force Officer.

"Sam"

A single tear throbbed out and ran for her cheek as his body fell to the ground.

The knife dripped with a renewed red water.

A drop rolled down the blade, then fell to its final destination on the already stained carpet.

"I'm sorry" She whispered as she collapsed over his dieing body.

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TBC...

Soo? how did ja like it? Please review, its really not that hard...


	3. Dawn of Truth

**Understanding** by Delliham

Chapter 3 – Dawn of Truth

.o.

.o.

.o.

"You know I didn't mean it don't you? Are we still friends? That's good, for a moment I thought this would come between us"

Daniel peeped through the glass in the door, watching her, then hung his head.

The days had grown older and longer between his visits. To tell the truth he really couldn't stand her. Well not her exactly but the person in which she had regress to.

As the door swung open he took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"Hey Sam, hows things?" The question was always asked through a fake smile.

The reply was always the same fake, old and used words.

"We're fine"

She sat, a welcoming grin on her face, watching Daniel take a seat next to her on the bed. He sighed.

Ever since she had been admitted to the hospital her state of mind had changed. Sure she could still calculate how long it would take to travel from earth to god-knows-where down to the nearest second – and be correct, she could still fix any computer that broke down without knowing what was wrong with it in the first place – with her eyes closed, but now, well…

A giggle cut through the thick silence.

"Don't say that it's not nice…."

Daniel glanced around

"Sam, honey no one said anything"

"Oh, look, now you made him upset"

Dan sighed again. It was always like this, ever since…

"Colonel O'Neill, keep your thoughts to yourself" she attempted to muffle her amusement at the unheard comment

"Sam, Jack isn't here………... he hasn't been here… for a long time" he looked down. Suddenly the smile was lost replaced with a scow

"Stop it Daniel, why do you always get this way around me and jack?"

"Hes not here Sam, not really"

"You have always been jealous Daniel, always. Get out ….get out!" Sam shrieked, shoving him toward the door.

Daniel stumbled backward as medics swarmed in past him armed with sedatives and ready to help.

"No no, no, its alright" Daniel muttered pushing them out of the way.

In the corner, on her bed, Samantha cuddled her pillow, crying into it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry"

He sat down next to her, gently wrapping his arms around her shoulders

"Its alright Sam, I know you didn't do it on purpose"

Slowly her gaze shifted from the distant point on the wall to Jackson's face

_Please don't be afraid_

_When the darkness fades away_

The dawn will break the silence

_Screaming in out hearts…_

"Oh, Daniel…"

.o.

o-.-o-.-o-.-o

.o.

But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten

'All I have to do is get out' Sam dashed down the empty corridors, lost and _very_ drugged.

The old hospital walls all looked the same, rows and rows of pink-cream isles flashed passed her.

'Where is the damn door?' she wondered almost screaming. If it was not but for the desperation of her situation she would of.

Suddenly the rubber like floor turned to a soft, plush carpet. In amongst all the rush, she paused and looked down. It was a pale blue with a little star pattern.

Carter smiled. It reminded her of the sky on P3X 210. That had been a good, fun mission.

Looking up she read a sign that said -Cafeteria-. That would explain the carpet.

Shouting echoing from down the passages forced Samantha to think again, not about pleasure but survival. She ran to the exit door and slammed into it. 'Damn, its blocked'.

'Everywhere you find food you will find a kitchen' Cassies stupid info-commercials had said that.

Sam shook her head 'Why do we always remember the most useless facts at the most unappropriated moments?'

She continued, almost stumbling into the kitchen and in it a rather large selection of cutlery and crockery. Pots, bowls, spoons, and…. Just what she was looking for.

"Hey!" A male voice shouted.

Like a deer caught in the headlights Sam froze. Unable to do anything but look and wait.

The man walked confidently toward her, a strange slick smile on his face, one that suggested victory and she didn't like it one bit. With a bit of sudden adrenalin she made a dash for the kitchen door, back into the dining area.

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TBC...

hope it hasnt been too hard to follow...


	4. Understanding

**Understanding** by Delliham

Chapter 4 – Understanding

.o.

.o.

.o.

_We're supposed to try and be real. And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real_

Now, late at night, she was all alone.

People had stopped visiting her, not even the nurses came in and tried to give her medication, it was just slipped through the flap in the door along with her food.

Alone.

You're not alone 

Sam opened her eyes, not waiting for them to adjust to the darkness walked toward the door.

"Call me crazy, but I know you're not real, which means I am alone"

"Samantha, with all we have ever been through, you still don't think this is real? No wonder you have been locked up"

Sam sighed; at this point in time she really didn't care, what was real, what wasn't.

She moved closer to the door, to him.

"I just don't think I can get out of this one, not this time"

He took both her hands and looked into her eyes,

"There is always a way"

_Can't wish it all away_

_Can't hope it all away _

_Can't cry it all way_

She lay on the bed, content and worry free. She was with the man she had always loved and everything was going to be all right.

Her wrists cried crimson tears, a testimony to the broken skin, rubbed raw by her own fingernails

Cant scratch it all way 

_Can't scream it all away_

_It just won't fade away………_

.o.

o-.-o-.-o-.-o

.o.

Back in among the tables and chairs she felt like a mouse in a maze, only difference was she didn't get a tasty treat at the end.

"Come on sweetie" the guard cooed "you cant run forever", his unnerving smile still plastered to his big dumb face.

Still she scrabbled away, desperate to make it to the cafeteria entrance, to into the hospital.

'Dont just give up' her mind screamed at her 'run like all hell back to the corridor'. And she did…… right into a second security man.

"Gary!" the first guard yelled out, part in warning part in surprise. Gary looked down at the small woman, then the shocked look on her face. He followed her gaze to the swelling red spot growing on his shirt.

"Shit Bob" he choked out as he fell to the floor. Sam just stood there, knife poised, letting the event absorb into her like blood into the dead mans clothes.

Screaming and full of rage 'Bob' charged Samantha.

Like so many times before this, so many missions to strange planets, and even though she was on the verge of collapsing, her survival training kicked in. 'he's not so big nor tough' her mind taunted.

He was caught unaware, she was too quick for him, ducking, dodging, stabbing.

He fell to the floor like his friend before him, choking and wheezing for what little precious oxygen he could suck in.

A shadow fell over him and in his minds eye Bob saw the final slash that ended his life.

.o.

o-.-o-.-o-.-o

.o.

Surveillance where the ones who spotted the pools of blood, flowing of the edge of the bed.

Emergency teams sped down to her cell as fast as humanly possible.

She didn't hear the yelling of the doctor's orders or the sound of her door being flung open. She didn't feel the sharp jab of a cannula in her arm, or the cold metal of the doctor's stethoscopes checking for her life signs. Nor did she see ECG monitor, her heart rate peaking one last time and then turn into a steady constant line.

.o.

"I didn't just kill you that day" She whispered.

_Because I'm dieing too_

.o.

Fin

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The End :(

So... review? too angsty? too much stabbing and blood? not enough? TELL MEEE!


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